A Friend in Deed/Transcript

On one bright and sunny morning, Pinkie Pie begins her daily warmup routine, putting on some sweatclothes for her "workout" ~

Pinkie Pie: Let's do this!
[moving a leg in front of her face to wipe away expressions] Happy! Sad. Happy! Sad. Happy! Sad. [stretching her eyes muscles] Open, shut, open, shut, open, shut, open, shut. Yeeeep, yepyepyepyepyepyep. Noooope, nopenopenopenopenopenope. Weeeeoooooo... Weeeeoooooo... [we can now see she's rocking Pound and Pumpkin Cake's crib] Weeeeoooooo... Weeeeoooooo... weeeooooweeeooooweeeoooo...
[She finishes the spectacle by blowing a raspberry. The twins look unimpressed. She sits on some jacks, causing her to jump into the ceiling fan and gets slung into a pile of toys in the corner, eliciting a laugh from the foals. ]
Pinkie: Nailed it!
[ theme ]

[A rooster announces sunrise to Ponyville as Pinkie steps out the front door of Sugarcube Corner; Applejack's cow, Daisy Jo, is just arriving.]
Pinkie: Morning, Daisy Jo! Ya here to pick up some cookies to go with your milk?
Daisy Jo: Oh, ya, Pinkie, don'tcha know.
Pinkie: Well, Mrs. Cake just baked a fresh batch of your favorite oatmeal!
Daisy Jo: Mooo! Sounds delightful!
Pinkie: Oh, Rose, your Calla lilies look even better than last year! I bet you'll take first prize at the flower show again.
Roseluck: Thanks Pinkie! would you like one?
Pinkie: Absolutely! [Rose tosses one her way and she catches it in her mouth, eating it; she jumps and clicks her back heels together]
Pinkie:Looking fit as a fiddle, Mr. Waddle, and you're wearing my favorite tie! [winks]
Mr. Waddle: [blushing] Aw, shucks Ms. Pinkie. You flatterer, you.
Pinkie: Well, happy birthday, Cheerilee.
Cheerilee: Thank you, Pinkie.
Pinkie: Happy day after your birthday, Zecora!
Zecora: What a lovely hi, Ms. Pinkie Pie.
Pinkie: And Ms. Matilda, happy birthday to you. [Matilda looks confused] In one hundred and thirty two days!
Matilda: Pinkie Pie! How do you remember everything about everypony?
Pinkie: 'Cause everypony's my friend and I love to see my friends smile!
She sings the Smile song and concludes face-to-face with a melancholy donkey pulling a cart ~
Pinkie: I've never seen you before.
Donkey: Kid, you're smarter than you look. [continues walking past her]
Pinkie: Thanks! I'm Pinkie Pie. What's your name? [reading the plate on the back of his cart] "Property of C.D.D." I'm guessing that last “D” is for "Donkey."
Donkey: Quick as a whip, kid.
Pinkie: Now, how 'bout that C... Hmmmm... Calvin? Calhoun? Caleb? Carl? Carmine? Carlo? Charlie? Chester? Chico? Claudio? Cleetus? Clifford? Conroy? Cornelius? Cortez? Crank? Christobelle?
Cranky: Cranky! It's Cranky, alright?!
Pinkie: And your middle name?
Cranky: Doodle.
Pinkie: I'm sorry?
Cranky: Doodle.
Pinkie: One more time.
Cranky: [exasperated sigh] Doodle.
Pinkie: [gasps] So you're a Cranky Doodle Donkey?!

[She sings the Cranky Doodle Donkey Song.]

Pinkie: C'mon now, Doodle! Give a smile!
Cranky Doodle Donkey: Nopony calls me Doodle!
[He marches off with his wagon, leaving a dazed Pinkie sitting to the side.]
Pinkie: What just happened? Meet somepony new, check. Introduce myself, check. Sing random song outta nowhere, check. Become instant best friends, uncheck. I don't get it. How can somepony not become instant best friends with me? Was it something I said? Was it something I sang? This is no time for the blame game, Pinkie! There's somepony new in town, and you need to win him over!
[She pulls a notepad out of nowhere and begins writing.]
Pinkie: Try everything you can to make Cranky smile and be your friend... check! [holds up a green check]
[Pinkie is now peering at him from around a building as she formulates her strategy.]
Pinkie: Alright, Pinkie! If you're gonna win Cranky's friendship you're gonna have to bring your A-game! Let's do this!
[darting in front of him]
Pinkie: Howdy doody, Cranky Doodle! [he ignores her]
Pinkie: So, uh... are you moving to Ponyville, Cranky?
Cranky: What gave you the hint there, kid? The cart full of stuff, maybe?
Pinkie: Well, I'd be happy to show you around. It's the least a new friend can do.
Cranky: Listen kid, I traveled around Equestria my entire life. I've made many friends; I don't need any more.
Pinkie: Gosh! I could never have too many friends!
Cranky: Well, why don't you go and make some more?
Pinkie: But I don't need to go, when I can stay and make friends with you. [ties his ears into a bow which unravels a moment later]
Cranky: Look, kid...
Pinkie: Oh, Cranky! You can call me Pinkie. All of my friends do. [bats her eyelashes]
Cranky: Look, kid, I came to Ponyville for some peace, and quiet, and privacy, to be alone with my memories. All I want is to get to my new home and unpack my stuff...
[Pinkie climbs in his wagon and starts digging through his stuff.]
Pinkie: Woooh, what does this bauble do?! [shakes a little Christmas tree ornament]
Cranky: Don't touch that!
Pinkie: What's this?! [spins a top that goes flying into the air]
Cranky: Please! Don't!
Pinkie: Oh, look at these! [pulls out some windchimes, which Cranky promptly knocks from her hoof]
Cranky: Pinkie! Keep your hooves off my wagon!
Pinkie: OK, Cranky... [she gasps with an epiphany, runs away, then comes back with a festive-looking cart of her own]
Pinkie: I promised not to touch your wagon 'cause I got one of my own! I use it to welcome folks!
Cranky: Who'd-a guessed.
Pinkie: Maybe we can be wagon buddies?! [he begins walking away in a different direction]
Pinkie: Well, you've gotta at least let me give you the special welcome that comes with it...
[Looking back, he sees her make a sad puppy face.]
Cranky: Let's get this over with...
Pinkie: That's the spirit!
[She sings a welcoming song including fanfare proveded by instruments integrated into her wagon.]
Pinkie: Wait for it...
[A front-facing oven blasts out confetti (which also blows away his toupée) followed by cannons that blast her and Cranky with cake batter.]
Cranky: Nooooo!
Pinkie: Oh, silly me! I must've put the confetti in the oven and the cake in the confetti cannons! Again! [she jumps out of the batter shell without breaking it, then eats it in one giant bite] Still delicious! Try some, Cranky. It's sure to make you smile!
Cranky: Oh, where is it? Where is it?
Pinkie: [turning around to follow him] Where is what? [she notices the hairy accessory clinging to her flank and panics] Spider! Big hairy spider! [begins jumping on it, completely ruining it]
Cranky: Stop, stop, stop!
Pinkie: Oh. Was that your wig? [Cranky growls fiercly]
Pinkie: I can fix this! I can fix this! [climbs a flagpole and begins shouting into a megaphone] Hey, everypony! Does anypony have a toupée?
Pinkie: [bends down on the flagpole to point at Cranky's glistening scalp] This donkey is really, really, bald! [everypony begins laughing, to Cranky's increasing embarassment]
Pinkie: What's so funny? This is serious business, everypony! Cranky needs a new wig to cover his hairless head!
Cranky: I have had enough! [scoops up a large weed and a mass of dirt, placing it atop his head]
Pinkie: You're losin' him, Pinkie... [she runs over to him as he's about to leave]
Pinkie: Wait, Cranky! Please, let me make it up to you!
Cranky: No!
Pinkie: Please! Oh, please please please please please please... [fading out as she pushes him down the road]

Pinkie: [now in the town spa] Ladies, this is a spa emergency. Cranky needs help, stat!
[They give him the works: bathing him, putting him in a sauna, and giving him a vigorous massage. He walks out radiant, but otherwise the same donkey as before.]
Pinkie: Hi Cranky! I have a gift for you! [presents a green box with a yellow ribbon]
Cranky: The spa treatment was gift enough.
Pinkie: It's not going to explode or anything; promise. Just open it! [he removes the lid and peers inside]
Pinkie: It's a new toupée! I had my friend Rarity make it. She calls it the "dreamboat special." [he's now wearing a commically large, blonde wig]
Cranky: [examining his dapper self in a hand mirror] This is wonderful. Thanks, kid.
[Pinkie looks at him intently for any sign of cheer before he walks away.]
Pinkie: He's starting to warm up, but still no smile. Hmmmm...
[At Cranky's place later in the day.]
Pinkie: Hey! Whatcha doin' there, ol' buddy, ol' pal?!
Cranky: What's it look like?
Pinkie: Looks like a yard sale. I'll give you two bits for this! [shakes a snowglobe containing a house and a floating Derpy]
Cranky: I'm not selling, kid. I'm unpacking.
Pinkie: Well, why didn't you say so?
Cranky: I thought I had.
Pinkie: This is so pretty! Where'd you get it?
Cranky: Manehattan. Now put it down, gently.
Pinkie: Really? What were you doin' there?
Cranky: Trying to find a friend.
Pinkie: Oooh! I'm always trying to find friends, and today I found you! See how good I am at it?
Cranky: This was a special friend.
Pinkie: Like me?
Cranky: No, you're extra special, kid.
Pinkie: [whispering] Yes! I'm in!
Pinkie: [holding a small Christmas tree ornament] Wow! where in Equestria did you get this, Cranky?
Cranky: Fillydelphia.
Pinkie: It's awfully pretty.
Cranky: Yes, she was.
Pinkie: Huh?
Cranky: I mean, it was. I mean, it is. Yes, it's pretty, now put it down!
Pinkie: [she notices a scrapbook] I wonder where Cranky got this... Huh... Will you look at that? Hey, Cranky! Can I ask you about-
[she steps on a loose floorboard which slings the ornament into a hangin lantern, which falls directly on the scrapbook and sets it on fire]
Pinkie: Oh, no!
Cranky: What did you say- a yeyeyeye! What have you done?!
[she uses the water from a flower vase to douse the flame]
Pinkie: There! A- All better?
Cranky: No, not all better, all soggy!
Pinkie: I'm sorry, Cranky!
Cranky: Oh, you're sorry. Well, then, everything is fine.
Pinkie: I- It is?
Cranky: No! It isn't! Listen to me, kid! I will never be your friend!
Pinkie: Never, or never-ever?
Cranky: Never, ever, ever, ever, ever!
Pinkie: That's four "evers." That's like... forever!

Back at Twilight's place ~
Pinkie: I just can't believe it. Cranky said he would never, forever, be my friend. It was horrible.
Twilight Sparkle: I know this is hard for you, Pinkie, seeing that you're friends with everypony, but you just have to accept that Cranky is gonna be an exception. He just doesn't want to be bothered.
Rainbow Dash: Yeah, he doesn't want to be bothered by your over-the-top, super hyper antics!
Twilight: Rainbow!
Pinkie: No, no, it's OK, Twilight. I get what you're saying, what you're both saying. And I guess I can leave Cranky alone...
Pinkie: ...Right after he accepts my apology!

[Pinkie returns to Cranky's place, as chipper as ever.]
Pinkie: Cranky!
Cranky: No! No! Leave me alone! [runs out in a blur as Pinkie gives chase through town]
Pinkie: Wait! I understand that you don't want me as a friend!
Cranky: No, I don't!
Pinkie: So I just wanted to say I'm sorry!
Cranky: Fine! You said it!
Pinkie: But you accept my apology?
Cranky: No!
Pinkie: Oh, Cranky, please accept my apology! Please!
Cranky: No!
Pinkie: But I'm really, really, really...
[getting in front of him]
Pinkie: ...really, really...

[He takes off through the countryside and stops atop a mountain.]

Cranky: Phew!
[Pinkie pops out of the summit and continues:]
Pinkie: Really, really, really...
[He flees and pauses under a bridge somewhere. Pinkie pushes out a brick and continues her chant through the hole.]
Pinkie: Really, really, really...
[Now he hides in the woods, only to find Pinkie inexplicably dressed as a beaver eating through a tree:]
Pinkie: Really, really, really...
[He hides under a statue of Princess Celestia back in town, which is replaced with Pinkie Pie when he looks up.]
Pinkie: Really, really, really, really...
[The view shifts to Cranky running around a map with Pinkie's head popping up at each location he reaches, continuing her drone of "really."]
Pinkie: SORRY!
[Getting back home, he locks his door, boards it up, and puts chains on it.]
Pinkie: [sticking her head down the chimney] Cranky, please, please accept my apology! [he slams the iron chimney door shut]
Pinkie: [putting her eye to the door's keyhole] I'd do anything to make it up to you!
Cranky: But there's nothing you can do! You ruined my book! You destroyed all I have to remember her by!
Pinkie: Her? Her who? The special friend?
Cranky: Go away, Pinkie!
[she looks sullen for a moment before rushing away with a look of pleasant surprise]
Pinkie: Cranky? It's me again. I understand that you don't wanna be my friend or accept my apology. Before I leave you alone forever, I have something to at least try to make up for ruining your book.
Cranky: No. I don't want it, kid. Anything you would give me is sure to lead to some sort of disaster.
Female Voice: Goodness! You really are cranky!
[Cranky goes outside.]
Cranky: It can't be... is it really you?
Matilda: It can, and it is!
Cranky: Matilda... But how?!
Matilda: Pinkie.
Cranky: But... I never told you about her!
Pinkie: You didn't have to. I put two and two and two together, and it added up to Matilda.
Cranky: What?
Pinkie: Well, when you were talking about your souvenirs, you said something about trying to find a special friend! And y'know, I wasn't just born yesterday. Nuh-uh! My birthday isn't for another seventy-five days!
Cranky: Huh?
Pinkie: And then, in your scrapbook, there was a flower, an old ticket, and a menu from the Grand Galloping Gala! And I knew I recognized all these things!
Cranky: But how could you have ever seen them before?
Matilda: Because I also have them in my scrapbook. [she holds up her counterpart]
Pinkie: And I'd seen them in Matilda's book!
Cranky: Oh, Matilda... the night we met at the Gala was the most magical night of my life. [flashback begins] I couldn't wait to see you again, but when I came to your room the next day, you were gone.
Matilda: Didn't you get my note? [The note is taped to the inside of her door. When Cranky leaves and closes the door, it flutters away.]
Cranky: No, I never got it! Ever since that day I've gone from town... [he gets progressively older as his flashback journey leads him across the land] to town.. to town... searching all over Equestria for you, until finally I gave up! I came to Ponyville to retire from my search.
Matilda: I was living in Ponyville the whole time. I always hoped that someday you would come and find me... Doodle.
Pinkie: Uh, Matilda. Nopony calls him Doodle.
Cranky: Nopony... but Matilda.
Matilda: Oh, Doodle... I'm so happy to see you. [She kisses his nose and his sour expression breaks into an ear-to-ear smile. Pinkie is elated.]
Pinkie: So does this mean that you accept my apology?
Cranky: Yes, Pinkie, I accept your apology, and I am honored to call you my friend.
[Pinkie shakes fiercly and erupts into the air, cheering with fireworks bursting behind her.]
Pinkie: Woo-hoo! This is just faaaantastic! Now we can hang out together and chat, and sing songs, and party! I can throw you guys a big party! It'll be called a "Welcome to Ponyville, I found my lost love, I'm BFFs with Pinkie Pie Party!"
Pinkie: [noticing they haven't shared much of her enthusiasm] Or maybe something less over-the-top and not so super hyper.
Cranky: Pinkie, we're eternally grateful to you. But Matilda and I just want to spend some time together in peace and quiet.
Pinkie: Oh, um... but we're still friends?
Cranky: Pinkie, you went way, way, way out of your way to make me happy. Of course we're friends.
Pinkie: Great!
Dear Princess Celestia,
There are many different kinds of friends, and many ways to express friendship. Some friends like to run and laugh and play together. But others just like to be left alone, and that's fine too. But the best thing about friendship is being able to make your friends smile.
Pinkie: [singing]
He had a Cranky Doodle sweetheart,
She's his cranky doodle joy.
I have the Cranky Doodle boy, yeah!
I have the Cranky Doodle boy!
Cranky and Matilda: Pinkie!
Pinkie: Whoops! Privacy; sorry!

[ credits ]

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A Friend in Deed (spoilers AND PINKIE SONG!) - last post @ May 17, 2014
Last edited by Liege on 18 June 2012 at 19:28
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