Boast Busters/Transcript

< Boast Busters

Spike: Come on, Twilight, you can do it!
Twilight Sparkle: Okay, here goes.
[magical chime]
Spike: Ha ha! Ya did it! Growing magic, that's number twenty five. Twenty five different types of tricks and counting. And I think this is the best trick so far. Hello, Rarity. What's that? Aw, it's nothin', just my awesome mustache. [laughter]
Twilight Sparkle: Sorry, Romeo. As attractive and enticing as you look, it's just for practice and it's gotta go.
Spike: Wait! [magical wipe] Aw, rats.
Twilight Sparkle: [laughter]

(Theme Song)

Spike: Twenty five, Twilight. Twenty five different kinds of tricks and counting. I thought unicorns were only supposed to have a little magic that matches their special talent.
Twilight Sparkle: True, for ponies whose talents are for things like cooking or singing or math, but what if a unicorn's special talent is magic?
Spike: Like you, Twilight, and you know a ton of magic.
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, Spike, stop. I'm sure there are lots of ponies right here in Ponyville that know just as much magic as me.
Spike: Are you kiddin'? I don't think there's another unicorn in all of Equestria with your kind of ability, Twilight.
Snails: Gangway! Comin' through!
Spike: Augh! Snip, Snails! What's goin' on?
Snails: Wha haven't you heard?
Spike: Whoa!
Snails: There's a new unicorn in town!
Snips: Yeah! They say she's got more magical powers than any other unicorn ever!
Twilight Sparkle: Really?
Spike: Aw, no way, that honor goes to Twilight here.
Twilight Sparkle: Where is this unicorn?
Snails: Ho, she's in the town square. Come on!
Snips: Yeah! [laughter] Come on! Whooo!

Trixie: Come one, come all! Come and witness the amazing magic of the Great and Powerful Trixie!
[Audience: Ooh!]
Trixie: Watch in awe as the Great and Powerful Trixie performs the most spectacular feats of magic ever witnessed by pony eyes!
[fireworks and fanfare]
Rarity: My, my, my! What boasting!
Spike: Come on, no pony's as magical as Twili-- Twi-- Twi-- Oh! [clears throat] Hey, Rarity, I, uh-- mustache!
Twilight Sparkle: There's nothing wrong with being talented, is there?
Applejack: Nothin' at all, 'ceptin' when someone goes around showin' it off like a school filly with fancy new ribbons.
Rarity: Just because one has the ability to perform lots of magic does not make one better than the rest of us.
Rainbow Dash: Especially when ya got me around being better than the rest of us. [laughter] Eh, I mean, yeah, uh, magic shmagic. Boo!
Trixie: Well, well, well, it seems we have some neigh sayers in the audience. Who is so ignorant as to challenge the magical ability of the Great and Powerful Trixie? Do they not know that they're in the presence of the most magical unicorn in all of Equestria?
Rarity: [raspberry] Just who does she think she is?
Spike: Yeah! Since we all know that Twilight here is--
Twilight Sparkle: Spike! Shhh!

Spike: What? What's wrong?
Twilight Sparkle: Did you see the way they reacted to Trixie? I don't want anyone thinking I'm a show-off.

Rainbow Dash: So, Great and Powerful Trixie, what makes you think you're so awsome, anyway?
Trixie: Heh, why, only the Great and Powerful Trixie has magic strong enough to vanquish the dreaded Ursa Major!
[fanfare, fireworks]
[Audience: Ahh!]
Snips: What?
Snails: No way!
Trixie: When all hope was lost, the ponies of Hoofington had no one to turn to, but the Great and Powerful Trixie stepped in, and with her awsome magic vanquished the Ursa Major and sent it back to its cave deep within the Everfree Forest!
Snips/Snails: Saw, sweet!
Snips: That settles it.
Snails: Trixie truly is the most talented, the most magical, the most awsome unicorn in Ponyville.
Snips: No, in all of Equestria!
Spike: How do you know? You didn't see it! And besides, Twi-- [zip!] Mmph! M-mmph!
Trixie: [laughter] It's true, my enthusiastic little admirer. Trixie is most certainly the best in Ponyville.
Trixie: Don't believe the Great and Powerful Trixie? [laughter] Well then, I hereby challenge you, Ponyvillians -- anything you can do, I can do better. Any takers? Anyone? Or is Trixie destined to be the greatest equine who has ever lived!?!
[fireworks and fanfare]
Spike: [zip] Please! She's unbearable! Ya gotta show her! Ya just gotta! [cries]
Twilight (whispering): There's no way I'm going to use my magic now, Spike. Especially since--
Trixie: Hmm, how about -- you!

Trixie: Well, how about it? Hm? Is there anything you can do that the Great and Powerful Trixie can't?
Twilight Sparkle: I-- I--
Trixie: Well, little hayseed?
Applejack: That's it! I can't stand for no more of this!
Spike: You show her, AJ!
Applejack: Can your magical powers do this?
[country music]
[Audience: Whooo!]
[Audience cheers]
Applejack: Top that, missy.
Trixie: Oh ye of little talent. Watch and be amazed at the magic of Trixie!
[Arabian music]
Applejack: Whoa! Uh!
[Audience laughter and cheers]
Trixie: Once again, the Great and Powerful Trixie prevails.
Rainbow Dash: There's no need to go struttin' around and showin' off like that.
Trixie: Oh?
Rainbow Dash: That's my job!
[rock music]
Rainbow Dash: They don't call me 'Rainbow' and 'Dash' for nothin'!
[Audience cheers]
Trixie: When Trixie is through, the only thing they'll call you is loser.
[rapid music]
Rainbow Dash: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa-a-a-a! [ulp] I think I'm [gulp] gonna be sick.
Trixie: Seems like any pony with a dash of good sense would think twice before tussling with the Great Trixie.
Rainbow Dash: Ow!
Spike: What we need is another unicorn to challenge her. Someone with some magic of her own.
Rainbow Dash: Yeah! A unicorn to show this unicorn who's boss.
Applejack: A real unicorn to unicorn tussle.
Twilight Sparkle: Uh...
Rarity: Enough. Enough, all of you. I take your hint, but Rarity is above such nonsense. Rainbow Dash and Applejack may behave like ruffians, but Rarity conducts herself with beauty and grace.
Trixie: Ooo, what's the matter? Afraid you'll get a hair out of place in that rat's nest you call a mane?
Rarity: Oh, it. Is. On! You may think you're tough with all your so-called powers, but there's more to magic than your brutish ways. A unicorn needs to be more than just muscle. A unicorn needs to have style. [Audience oohs] A unicorn is not a unicorn without grace and beauty.
Spike: Rarity won't let Trixie get the best of her! She's strong, she's beautiful, she's--
[Audience gasps]
Rarity: Quick! I need a mirror! Get me a mirror! What did she do to my hair? I know she did something terrible to my hair!
Twilight Sparkle: Nothing.
Rainbow Dash: It's fine.
Applejack: It's gorgeous.
Spike: It's green. What?
Rarity: [cries] No. Green hair! Not green hair! [cries] That's an awful, awful color! [cries]
Green-haired version of Carrot Top: Well, I never!
Spike: Well, Twilight, guess it's up to you. Come on, show her what you're made of.
Twilight Sparkle: What do you mean? I'm nothing special.
Spike: Yes, you are! You're better than her!
Twilight Sparkle: I'm not better than anyone.
Trixie: Hah! You think you're better than the Great and Powerful Trixie? You think you have more magical talent? Well, come on, show Trixie what you've got. Show us all.
Twilight Sparkle: Who, me? I'm just your run of the mill citizen of Ponyville. No powerful magic here. I, uh... I think I hear my laundry calling. Sorry.
Spike: Twilight?
Trixie: Ha! Once again, the Great and Powerful Trixie has proven herself to be the most amazing unicorn in all of Equestria. Was there ever any doubt?

Snips: Here's the smoothie you asked for, with extra hay, just how you like it.
Snails: Mmm, hay.
Trixie: Yes?
Snips: Ooo, tell us another story oh Great and Powerful Trixie.
Snails: Yeah, tell us about how you vanquished the Ursa Major.
Trixie: Bah! Trixie is far too exhausted from performing feats beyond imagination. Begone with you until morning.
Snails: Oh, of course, Great and Powerful Trixie.
Snips: Anything you say. We are at your beck and call.
Trixie: Ah.

Spike: What are you two doin'?
Snips: Just bringin' the Gee of Pee Tee a--
Spike: The what?
Snips: The Great and Powerful Trixie.
Spike: Sheesh.
Snips: Just bringin' her a smoothie.
Spike: How can you fall for her lameness? She's just a show-off. Unlike cTwilight, who--
Snips: The Great and Powerful Trixie vanquished an Ursa Major. Can your Twilight claim that?
Spike: Oh really? Were you guys actually there?
Snips: Well, eh, uh... no, but--
Spike: But nothin'. The proof is in the pudding.
Snails: [laughs] I like pudding.
Spike: Look, unless an Ursa Major comes waltzing up the street for Trixie to vanquish, I am not gonna believe a word she says! And neither should you!
Snips: Hm, an ursa walkin' up the street, hay? Snails! Are you thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?
Snails: Why is it they call it a flea market when they don't really sell fleas?
Snips: Yeah, uh... oh, come on!

Spike: Twilight, would you put down that book and listen to me?
Twilight Sparkle: Didn't you see how they hated Trixie's bragging, Spike? If I go out there and show off my magic, I run the risk of losing them as friends.
Spike: It's not the same thing, Twilight. You'll be using your magic to stand up for your friends!
Twilight Sparkle: No, Spike, it's exactly the same.
Spike: Come on, Twilight, any one of these tricks, even the teeniest, would be enough to show up Trixie.
Twilight Sparkle: I don't want to be seen as a bragger like Trixie.
Spike: But you're the best!
Twilight Sparkle: Uh. Please, Spike, I said no!
Spike: [sighs] If that's the way you want to be, fine.

[spooky music an sounds]
Snips: Oh, how we gonna find an Ursa Major when I can't even see my own hoof in front of my face?
Snails: Hold on. [grunt]
Snips: Oh, heh. That's better.
Snails: Yaaaah!
Snips: Yaaaah!
Ursa Minor: [roar]

Snips: [screaming]
Spike: Hey, guys, where ya goin'?
Snails: [breathing hard]
Snips: Can't talk now.
Snails: Got a major problem!
Snips: Yeah, Ursa Major, to be exact.
Spike: Huh?
Ursa Minor: [roar]
Snips/Snails: Trixie!
Spike: Twilight!

[banging on door]
Snips/Snails: Trixie! [mingled speach]
Trixie: Trixie thought she said the Great and Powerful Trixie did not want to be disturbed!
Snips: [nervous laughter] We-- We have a tiny problem.
Snails: Actually, it's a big one.
Trixie: What is so important that you cannot wait until morning to disturb Trixie?
Ursa Minor: [Roar!]
Trixie: [screams]
Snips/Snails: [screams]
Ursa Minor: [roar]

Spike: Twilight! You gotta come! Quick!
Twilight Sparkle: I already told you, Spike, I don't wanna show up Trixie!
Spike: No, you don't understand, it's--
Twilight Sparkle: Uh, is that what I think it is?
Spike: Majorly.

Snips: Great and Powerful Trixie, you've got to vanquish the ursa.
Snails: Yeah, vanquish so we can watch.
Snips: It took a lot of trouble to get that thing here.
Trixie: Wait, you brought this thing here? [gasp] Are you out of your little pony minds?
Snips: But -- you're the Great and Powerful Trixie.
Snails: Yeah, remember? You defeated an Ursa Major.
Ursa Minor: [roar]
Trixie: Uh, okay. [gulp] Stand back.
[Arabian music]
Trixie: Heh. Piece of cake.
Snips: Aw, come on, Trixie.
Snails: Stop goofin' around and vanquish it, eh?
Trixie: [gasp, gulp]
[ominous music]
Snails: Well, that was a dud.
Snips: Yeah, come on! Where's all the cool explosions and smoke and stuff like earlier? You know.
Trixie: Uh-oh.
Ursa Minor: [Roar!]
Snips/Snails/Trixie: [screams]
Ursa Minor: [Roar!]
[assorted ponies gasp]
Ursa Minor: [Roar!]

[ponies crying in fear]
Twilight Sparkle: What's going on?
Snips: We brought an ursa to town.
Twilight Sparkle: You what!?!
Snails: Don't worry, the Great and Powerful Trixie will vanquish it.
Trixie: I can't.
Snips/Snails: What!?!
Trixie: uh, I can't, I never have. No one can vanquish an Ursa Major. I just made the whole story up to make me look better.
Snips/Snails: Made it up!?!
Ursa Minor: [growl] [Roar!]
[ponies gasp]
Twilight Sparkle: [gulp]
Ursa Minor: [growl]
Twilight Sparkle: [groans]
[music from broken cattails]
Ursa Minor: [growl] [grunt] [gutteral sigh]
Spike: Nice use of number sixteen.
[intense magical chiming]
[metallic sounds]
[water flowing]
[milking sounds and cows]
Unidentified cow: Golly, doncha know?
Spike: That's new.
[metallic clank]
[ominous music]
[lullaby music]
Ursa Minor: [sucking]
[magical music and chiming]
Unidentified pony: Unbelievable!
Spike: That was amazing!
Applejack: Heavens to Betsy! We knew you had ability, but not that much!
Twilight Sparkle: I'm sorry. Please, please don't hate me.
Rainbow/Applejack/Rarity: Hate you?
Rarity: Why, whatever do you mean, darling?
Twilight Sparkle: Well, I know how much you all hated Trixie's showing off with her magic tricks, and I just thought--
Rainbow Dash: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Magic's got nothing to do with it. Trixie's just a loudmouth.
Rarity: Most unpleasant.
Applejack: All hat and no cattle.
Twilight Sparkle: So -- you don't mind my magic tricks?
Applejack: Your magic is a part of who you are, sugar cube, and we like who you are. We're proud to have such a powerful, talented unicorn as our friend.
Rainbow Dash: And after whuppin' that ursa's hind quarters, we're even prouder.
Twilight Sparkle: You are?
Rainbow Dash: Uh-huh.
Applejack: Mm-hmm.
Rarity: Mm-hmm.
Spike: Wow, Twilight, how'd you know what to do with that Ursa Major?
Twilight Sparkle: that's what I was doing when you came looking for me. I was so intrigued by Trixie's bragging that I was compelled to do a littl reading up on them.
Spike: So it is possible to vanquish an Ursa Major all by yourself?
Twilight Sparkle: That wasn't an Ursa Major, that was a baby, an Ursa Minor.
Trixie: That was just a baby?
Twilight Sparkle: And it wasn't rampaging, it was just cranky because someone woke it up.
Snips/Snails: Awww...
Spike: Well, if that wasn an Ursa Minor, thenwhat's an Ursa Major like?
Twilight Sparkle: You don't wanna know.
Trixie: Huh. You may have vanquished an Ursa Minor, but you will never have the amazing, show-stopping ability of the Great and Powerful Trixie!
[retreating hoofbeats]
Rainbow Dash: Why that little...
Twilight Sparkle: Just let her go. Maybe someday she'll learn her lesson. Now, about you two.
Snips: Ah [nervous laughter]. Uh we're sorry that we woke up the Ursa Minor.
Snails: We just wanted to see some awesome magic.
Snips: Yeah! And the way you vanquished that Ursa Minor was awesome!
Snails: We deserve whatever punishment you give us.
Twilight Sparkle: For starters, you can clean up this mess. And... What do you think, Spike? Should I give them number twenty five?
Spike: Oh, twenty five! Yes! And I think I deserve it, too.
Snips/Snails: Heah?
Twilight Sparkle: I think you're right.
[pop pop pop]
Snips/Snails/Spike: Sweet!

Twilight Sparkle: Dear Princess Celestia,
I have learned a very valuable lesson about friendship: I was so afraid of being thought of as a showoff, that I was hiding a part of who I am. My friends helped me realize that it's okay to be proud of your talents, and there are times when it's appropriate to show them off... Especially when when you're standing up for your friends.
Spike: So, you finally admit that you're the most talented unicorn in all of Ponyville?
Twilight Sparkle: Well, yeah, but it's nothing to brag about. So, uh, how did it go with Rarity?
Spike: Ah, she didn't go for the mustache.
Twilight Sparkle: You know, Spike, that mustache has nothing to do with who you really are. Maybe you should just try being yourself.
Spike: Or... Maybe the mustache wasn't enough. Maybe if I had a mustache and a beard!
Twilight Sparkle: Uh, not this again!
Spike: Okay, imagine me with a nice, long, Fu Manchu type beard. Or maybe a goatee. Oh, no...

[ credits ]

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