Family Appreciation Day/Transcript

One calm night at Sweet Apple Acres, the Apple family is sound asleep until the howl of wolves is heard, prompting Granny Smith to raise an alarm with pots and pans and the others to observe from the windows ~
Granny Smith: The timber wolves are a howlin'! The timber wolves are a-howlin!
[the timber wolves can be heard somewhere in the distance]
Big Macintosh: Ee-yup.
Granny Smith: The Zap Apples are comin'! The Zap Apples are comin'!
Applebloom, Applejack, and Big Macintosh: Yay! The Zap Apples are comin'!
Granny Smith: That's what I said. [continues banging the pans needlessly]
[ theme ]
Granny Smith: [hollering over the orchards from a second floor window] Hey, silly goose; quit your gawkin' and move your caboose!
Big Macintosh: [pulling a cart of empty buckets] Eeyup.
[Applejack is distributing them amongst the Zap Apple trees.]
Apple Bloom: [back inside, observing from a window] Ready, granny!
Granny Smith: Ready for what?
Apple Bloom: To make Zap Apple jam with you!
Granny Smith: Darn tootin'! It's time for some good, old-fashioned Zap Apple jammin'!
Apple Bloom: Yes ma'am. I can't wait, ma'am!
Granny Smith: ...Wait for what?
Apple Bloom: To make Zap Apple jam with you!
Granny Smith: Of course! Now I been doin' this ever since I was a little pony, so be warned, pickle-pear! There's a whole mess a' steps in this process and you gots to get each one of 'em just right, or no Zap Apple jam. Take this. [hands her a ragged, old broom]
Apple Bloom: Is this one of your gazillion secret herbal ingredients for the Zap Apple jam?!
Granny Smith: That there's a broom. Now get sweepin', pipsqueak. Now while you sweep, I'll get tooo, uh... something there- uh... Ah, ponyfeathers! I'd forget my mane if it wasn't attached to my head!
[Applejack and Big Mac are in the field making preparations when a thunderstorm instantly appears. Lightning arcs through the branches as the clouds pass, causing dark leaves to appear suddenly on the trees.]
Applejack: There's the Zap Apple leaves! Right on schedule!
[Meanwhile, Granny Smith and Apple Bloom are dressed as rabbits and hopping over watering cans. They don't notice the approach of visitors.]
Granny Smith: singing: A, B, C, D, E, F, G-
H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P.
[They realize they have company when Diamond Tiara laughs at the scene.]
Granny Smith: Well! Howdy-doo there, Filthy Rich!
Filthy Rich: Hello, Mrs. Smith! Did I hear right that there's a Zap Apple harvest coming in a few days?
Granny Smith: Four days to be exact.
Filthy Rich: Excellent news! And as usual, I get your first hundred jars?
Granny Smith: 'Course, Filthy!
Filthy Rich: Ah- I prefer Rich...
Granny Smith: Oh, and how is your papi doing? [they walk away from the foals]
Diamond Tiara: Oh, you poor, poor thing. Having to make all that Zap Apple jam with Granny Smith. [faux gagging]
Apple Bloom: Actually, I been lookin' forward to making Zap Apple jam for years!
Diamond Tiara: I'm not talking about the jam, I'm talking about Granny Smith. You must be so embarrassed.
[Granny gets her head stuck in a big kettle]
Granny Smith: Soup's on!
Apple Bloom: Uh- Whadda ya mean?
Diamond Tiara: You know, with all her silly ways - how she forgets things and makes you wear these ridiculous costumes?
Apple Bloom: Granny said that the water needs-
Diamond Tiara: Thank goodness you're here on the farm and not in town where everypony could see you! Don't worry. Your secret is safe with me.
Apple Bloom: "Silly ways?"
[Filthy Rich strikes the kettle with a big, wooden spoon.]
Granny Smith: Thank you kindly, Filthy!
Apple Bloom and Granny Smith go to town together for ingredients some time later ~
Granny Smith: Shake a leg there, slowpoke! We got a gaggle's worth a' goods to gather before the harvest. Come on!
begins skipping and singing: Gonna make Zap Apple jam! Hooptie hoo! Gatherin' the goodies now! Hooptie hoo! Singin' and dancin'! Diddl-ay hoo! Flippity-floo, my darli-iiiin'!
[begins examining some pots and pans being sold by Daisy in the town square, then begins biting one furiously]
Daisy: Hey! You bite it, you buy it!
[Granny walks away, obvlious that she's left her teeth hanging from the pot. Apple Bloom takes them and catches up to Granny to find her wearing a beard of bees.]
Granny Smith: Why hello bee. Beatrice. Beecher. You've all been busy little bees, haven't ya? [makes a buzzing noise at them as she pours the honey from their hive into a jar]
Apple Bloom: Granny, isn't there a less silly way to get the honey? [sees Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon then dives behind a large beehive to avoid notice]
Granny Smith: Oh, isn't this just precious? [picks Apple Bloom up by her bonnet]
Apple Bloom: Please stop...
Granny Smith: And it is perfect for makin' our Zap Apple jam! [starts tugging on Apple Bloom's bonnet]
Apple Bloom: Shhh! Stop it, Granny!
[Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon laugh derisively]
Apple Bloom: Granny, please! Those ponies over there are watchin' me!
Granny Smith: What? Are those fillies your friends?! Hello half-pint's friends!
Silver Spoon: Hi, Granny Smith! Hi, half-pint! [they both resume laughing]
Granny Smith: What dolls! Why, when I was little, ponies didn't come that purty.
Apple Bloom: Are we done shopping, Granny? 'Cause I'd like to get back to the farm. Fast!
Granny Smith: All done, smelly belly.
Singing again: I got my honey. Gooey-goo! Got my honey. Gooey-ooh! Got my honey. Iddley-ooo!
[Apple Bloom hides her face as they begin walking back to Sweet Apple Acres.]
The next day, at school ~

Filthy Rich: And by capturing the wholesale market, purchasing in bulk and slashing our prices, we undermine every other gift market in town; and that's how Rich's Barnyard Bargains became the cornerstone of retail in Ponyville. [by this point all the foals had fallen asleep except for his daughter, who claps alone]
Cheerilee: Well, thank you, Mr. Filthy! [he scowls] I mean, Mr. Rich. What a wonderful day of sharing, and thank you for being a part of Family Appreciation Day! Now, let's see who will be bringing in a family member for next Monday's Family Appreciation Day... Um... Oh! Apple Bloom!
Apple Bloom: But Ms. Cheerilee, Monday is Zap Apple harvest day, and Applejack and Big MacIntosh will be too busy to come and speak.
Cheerilee: Well, is there anypony else in your family that could-
[Apple Bloom emphatically shakes her head "no"]
Diamond Tiara: Ms. Cheerilee! Apple Bloom's Granny Smith isn't working harvest. She could come...
Apple Bloom: Oh- but- uh, no. That wouldn't-
Cheerilee: That's a splendid idea, Diamond Tiara! Apple Bloom, you shall bring in Granny Smith on Monday. [the bell rings, dismissing them]
Cheerilee: Have a great weekend, everypony!
Apple Bloom: Granny Smith?! Come Monday, I'll be the laughing stock of Ponyville!
Back at the farm ~

Applejack: I'm sorry, Apple Bloom. I already told you that we just can't take a break from harvest to come to your school. You know what'll happen.
Apple Bloom: I know. After the fifth day the Zap Apples disappear.
[A harsh wind begins to blow, bringing in dark clouds and dozens of crows. The crows begin flying in an apple-shaped pattern.]
Granny Smith: Look! The third sign! Right on time! Hoooot diggity!
[the buds on the trees crackle with electricity and bloom into flowers]
Everypony: Wow!
Granny Smith: Alright, you lazy daisies! Move your caboose!
Applejack: I'm sorry Apple Bloom, but don't you fret! Granny Smith's got no shortage of entertaining stories to tell.
Apple Bloom: I know! That's what I'm worried about...
At the CMC clubhouse ~
Apple Bloom: I'll be embarrassed, shamed, disgraced, mortified, humiliated...
[Sweetie Belle puts a hoof over her mouth]
Scootaloo: What are you, a dictionary?
Sweetie Belle: Snap out of it! We're here to help you!
Scootaloo: After all, we are the Cutie Mark Crusaders. We'll figure out a way to postpone your presentation.
Apple Bloom: But how?! All this worry is makin' me sick!
Sweetie Belle: Sick? [she and Scootaloo begin pondering the situation]
Scootaloo: [jumping, striking a lantern over her head which becomes lit] That's it! C'mon!
[in the kitchen]
Granny Smith: [wearing a military helmet as she speaks to the mason jars] Ten-hut! Now listen here, troops! Now, I don't want any whinin', or cryin', or crackin' under pressure! Do I make myself clear?!
[bangs the table, causing a jar to crack]
Granny Smith: Court-martialed!
[throws it in the trash]

[Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle are putting Apple Bloom to bed upstairs and endeavouring to make her look too sick for school.]
Scootaloo: Stay still, Apple Bloom! You have to look sick!
[Sweetie Belle smears green grape pulp on her face as Scootaloo boils a thermometer to create an illusory fever.]
Apple Bloom: [taking the thermometer in her mouth] Aaah! Hey, this is hot!
Granny Smith: What in the hayseed is going on in there, silly billy?
[Sweetie Belle frantically coats Apple Bloom's face with grape]
Scootaloo: Oh, Granny Smith! We were just about to come get you! Heh...
Sweetie Belle: Apple Bloom's sick! Looks like she might have to stay home all week!
[Granny puts her hoof to Apple Bloom's forehead as the two tricksters look pleased with themselves.]
Granny Smith: Perfect as a piccadilly pear!
Apple Bloom: Now what?!
Back at the clubhouse ~

Apple Bloom: It's already almost sundown! Tomorrow is Sunday and I only have one more day to figure something out!
Sweetie Belle: [from the second level] Hey! Look!
[they look through a telescope to see stars cascading behind the grove of Zap Apple trees]
Apple Bloom: That's the fourth sign!
[Scootaloo knocks her off the stool so she can get a view for herself. As she's watching, the flowers on the trees fall away to reveal apples of an unappetizing shade of gray.]
Apple Bloom: The Zap Apples have appeared!
Sweetie Belle: And that gives me an idea!
[they creep up to a tree while hiding in a bush]
Sweetie Belle: We can't move Family Appreciation Day, so let's move harvest day instead!
Apple Bloom: They don't look quite ripe.
Scootaloo: Harvesting apples early never hurt an apple!
Apple Bloom: I don't know. Zap Apple trees aren't like normal apple trees. They're magic.
Sweetie Belle: How different can they be?
[she kicks a tree to knock some loose; an electric current flows back and throws her behind the other two]
Apple Bloom: Well if we can't buck 'em, let's just pick 'em!
[Apple Bloom grabs an apple, Scootaloo grabs her tail, and Sweetie Belle grabs Scootaloo's. They pull as hard as they can but are catapulted into a pigpen when the tree snaps upright.]
Apple Bloom: Any other bright ideas?
The next morning ~
Cheerilee: [knocks on the front door] Granny Smith, it's Ms. Cheerilee! Apple Bloom said you wanted to speak with me? Hello? Granny Smi- ah!
[the CMC are manipulating a sleeping Granny as a marionette, on whom they've placed glasses with fake eyes painted on the lenses; Apple Bloom speaks in place of Granny]
Apple Bloom Well, hello there! Howdy-doo!
Cheerilee: Uh. Hi, uh, Granny Smith. Is... everything OK?
Apple Bloom Of course it is! Why wouldn't it be?!
[Granny's head falls over as she begins snoring, causing the glasses to hit the floor; Apple Bloom promptly replaces them on Granny.]
Apple Bloom: Oh, uh, excuse me. Pickles always give me the hiccups! I need to tell you that I can't make the presentation on Monday after all!
Cheerilee: Oh, no! Is that so?
Apple Bloom No doubts about it! I gotta shear the flowers and water the sheep! I mean, uh, I have to water the flowers and shear the sheep! Heh...
Cheerilee: Oh. Well, that's too bad. We can reschedule. [begins leaving]
[An excited Scootaloo tugs a rope too hard, slamming Granny into the cieling and waking her.]
Granny Smith: Wha- hah... Where am I?
[Granny notices Cheerilee through the window and goes to speak with her.]
Granny Smith: Well, howdy Ms. Cheerilee! Ya winda' shoppin'?
Cheerilee: Uh, no... You asked me to come here to tell me that you wouldn't be making it to Family Appreciation Day...
Granny Smith: Fiddlesticks! I wouldn't miss it for all the tea in Canterlot!
Cheerilee: But didn't you just say-
Granny Smith: See ya Monday! [she gets hauled up by the ropes]
[back in the kitchen]
Apple Bloom: I can't believe she woke up from her nap! She never wakes up from her nap! I wish I could just run off and hide!
Sweetie Belle: Well you can't run off, but maybe somepony else can!
Later that evening, a storm hangs over the Zap Apple orchard giving way to a vibrant rainbow. One of the gray apples becomes striped like a rainbow and beams its colors to every other apple in the crop ~
Granny Smith: Yee-haw! [jumps and strikes her heels together]
Applejack: The Zap Apple harvest has begun!
[Granny crashes]
Granny Smith: And tomorr'y we'll be makin' up some Zap Apple jam!
Scootaloo: [dressed as a courier] Ms. Granny Smith? Telegram.
Granny Smith: [reading it] Well, bust my buttons! Uncle Apple Strudel wants me to pay him a visit!
Apple Bloom: And you can just make the 8 A.M. train. I already packed you a bag.
Granny Smith: Well, that was considerate. [Apple Bloom strikes her flank] But don't you worry, flipperdy gibber! I'll be back in time to make that jam!
Apple Bloom: That train ride takes all day. I'm safe.
[at school the following day]
Cheerilee: For today's Family Appreciation Day, we are pleased to welcome Granny Smith. Um, Apple Bloom? Is Granny Smith here?
Apple Bloom: Oh, I'm sorry Ms. Cheerilee. But she got called out of town on account of a family emergency.
Granny Smith: Well howdy, my little ponies!
[Diamond Tiara gives Apple Bloom a look of mischievous pleasure as the scene fades out, then back in]
Granny Smith: Howdy, y'all! I'm as happy as a pig in a fresh mudpile to be here!
Apple Bloom: Well- what are you doing here? Did you miss the train?
Granny Smith: No, it came. And Uncle Apple Strudel was on it!
Apple Strudel: Oooh-aaahhh, noogie, noogie, noggie! [laughs hysterically after ruining Apple Bloom's mane]
Diamond Tiara: I can't wait to hear Granny Smith's presentation! [whispering to Silver Spoon: If she can remember any of it. [both giggle]
Granny Smith: [knocks a chair away when she attempts to sit] Long ago, when I was a little pony, things were very different here in Ponyville. 'Cause there was... no Ponyville!
Her tale is regaled in a sepia-toned flashback of ponies and scenery following an Old West motif ~
Granny Smith: That's right, my little ponies; me and my family were pilgrim pony folk back when I was a little filly. We ventured far and wide, collectin' new seeds and sellin' the old, but my pa was the finest seed collector in all Equestria. Then, one day, the Smith family found themselves in the most brilliant, most grand, most magnificent of all cities: a place called... Canterlot. Well, I bet you hooves to hindquarters I had never seen anything like it before, nor since. And as if the beauty of that city wasn't enough, suddenly... she appeared - Princess Celestia, the most regal of all ponies - when lo and behold, she stopped to look at my pa's seed collection. Then Princess Celestia saw that we were plumb tuckered, and hankerin' to find our forever home. And bein' a royal Princess and all, she knew exactly the place for us to lay down our stakes. My pa gave the Princess a mighty thanks. [he kissed her hoof, drawing a very harsh look from his wife] We quickly found that land near the Everfree Forest and we built our first home; next, we planted our first orchards. But an orchard don't grow overnight, and we were gettin' mighty short on food. Now, mind you, we were cautioned about the forest, and we knew that it was not fit to enter. [the wolves continue their howling]
But I knew if there was critters livin' there, there must be some'n t' eat. It was dark and musty and I won't lie, it was scary. But every inch was covered in plant life, and before I knew it, wasn't I standin' in front of the most iiincredible apple trees! [she discovers a ripe crop of Zap Apples] I had never seen anything that bore this kind of colorful fruit! I started picking apples quick as a whip!
[a silhouette ran past and Granny paused her picking for a moment, then stopped again upon hearing a nearby howl]
I turned, and there before me stood... the timber wolves! I've never run so fast in my life! I did the only thing I could think of.
[grabbed a pot that happened to be outdoors upon reaching their property and banged it on a kettle, causing the timber wolves to relent]
My pa and I planted those special apple seeds and before our eyes they grew like wildfire. Well, we had full grown trees faster than you could say lickety split. [the trees shot up from the ground, taking Granny up with them] Then each year, I paid close attention to the signs of the Zap Apple special harvesting times: how the weather affects the Everfree Forest, how the timber wolves howl when the Zap Apples first start growing, and how they zapped away if you didn't pick 'em all in one day! And the fruits of our labor were the best fruit we ever tasted! Soon enough I was mixing up batches of Zap Apple jam. Just like harvestin' the Zap Apples had its special rules, so did makin' Zap Zpple jam! I learned that you gotta be extra friendly with the bees, otherwise their honey won't taste rightly sweet to mix in with the Zap Apples. Who'd a thought that glass jars needed talkin' to, or that Zap Apples like pink polka dots? But magic is as magic does; just funny that way. Then ponies started comin' to our farm from far and wide just to get a taste of my Zap Apple jam. Some of them decided to stay, like Stinkin' Rich - Diamond Tiara's great grandfather. Matter a' fact, the first thing he ever sold was my Zap Apple jam.
[a train stops at the newly founded Ponyville, which resembles a town out of the Old West]
And before we knew it, we had ourselves a nice little town bustlin' with all kinds of ponies. And that is how Ponyville was founded.

[Everypony looks at Granny in astonishment, and in the case of Silver Spoon, with newfound respect as she leads the class in applause.]
Granny Smith: Oh, thank you kindly little ponies. Now, now. Let's settle down.
Scootaloo: So if it weren't for you and the Zap Apples, Ponyville wouldn't even exist?!
Granny Smith: Darn tootin', little filly!
Apple Bloom: [leaning over towards Diamond Tiara] If it weren't for my Granny Smith, your daddy wouldn't have Barnyard Bargains.
[the whole class voices their agreement]
Diamond Tiara: But...
[Granny Smith licks some chalk from the board.]
Diamond Tiara: But she's just a kooky old lady!
[the rest of the class gasps as Apple Bloom dashes over to Granny Smith]
Apple Bloom: She is not a kooky old lady! She is the most amazing pony in all Ponyville!
Later, at Sweet Apple Acres, Apple Bloom assists Granny Smith in making this year's batch of Zap Apple jam as Big MacIntosh and Applejack sell it at a wooden stand ~
Scootaloo: I think this is the best Zap Apple jam I've tasted yet!
Sweetie Belle: Must be 'cause you had something to do with it, Apple Bloom.
Granny Smith: You betcha! Apple Bloom is one humdinger of a Zap Apple jammer!
Apple Bloom: I am?!
Applejack: So I take it Family Appreciation Day went well?
Apple Bloom: Did it?! My Granny Smith is super special! I just forgot that for a little while...
Granny Smith: Aw, don't fret. I forget things all the time. Now, I'll getcha- eh- uh... some'n.
Applejack: Who wants to help Granny sing to the water?
Some of Apple Blooms classmates: We do! We do!
Granny and the youngsters in bunny ears: Jumping the cans while singing: A, B, C, D, E, F, G...
Filthy Rich: Diamond Tiara! [pushes her into view weaing bunny ears]
Diamond Tiara: But daaaad! [he pushes her out of view']
[Apple Bloom and Applejack share a laugh]


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Episode Discussion - Family Appreciation Day (Spoilers) - last post by @ Mar 25, 2012
Last edited by Liege on 22 April 2012 at 08:33
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