Hearth's Warming Eve/Transcript

Snow falls on all Ponyville and the surrounding area as the Friendship Express winds its way through the mountains, carrying several Ponyville residents to Canterlot for the annual Hearth's Warming Eve pageant and festivities ~
Twilight Sparkle: We're getting closer!
Rainbow Dash: I can hardly wait!
Fluttershy: I'm so excited, I- I feel like shouting! [in her customary meek voice] Woo hoo!
Applejack: Woo-ee! Canterlot, here we come!
Rarity: [poking her head out the window while wearing a large hat shaped as a Christmas tree] Oh, I do hope I look festive enough!
Pinkie Pie: [popping out from under Rarity's hat] There it is! Canterlot!
Everypony: Oooh...
[strolling the boardwalk at the train station as they head for the town proper]
Twilight: Oh... Isn't Canterlot wonderful this time of year?
Rainbow: Yeah! I wish it was Hearth's Warming Eve every day.
Applejack: There's so much to look at! I feel like my durn eyes are gonna pop right out of my head!
Twilight: I have an idea. Let's play "I spy with my little eye" as we walk! I'll go first. I spy an eight-foot candy cane!
[Scootaloo and another filly have their tongues stuck to it]
Rainbow: I spy a snowpony!
[a mare is putting a top hat on a snowpony that's wearing a scarf and has a broom for a tail]
Pinkie: I spy somepony eating a gingerbread house!
[she dashes into a nearby store, a cash register rings as she re-emerges with a giant gingerbread house, and she eats it in one, massive bite]
Pinkie: [with a mouthful of house] And it's me!
Everypony Else: [laughing]
[ theme ]
Within the castle's grand ballroom there are wreaths, garland, and bells hung on every columb in celebration as ponies fill the areas on both sides of the runway in anticipation of Equestria's most renowned pageant of the season ~

[Derpy pokes her head out of the curtain and waves to the crowd]
Twilight: I can't believe that Princess Celestia chose us to put on the most important play of the season! Do you guys know what an honor this is?! For all of us?!
Fluttershy: Oh, I wish she hadn't honored me quite so much. I can't go onstage! I don't want everypony looking at me! [she hides in a box]
Rarity: Fluttershy, darling, there's nothing to feel nervous about.
Fluttershy: No?
Rarity: Of course not! All across Equestria, ponies are preparing their own pageants for Hearth's Warming Eve in their own towns. It's tradition.
Fluttershy: So you're saying they'll be too busy to come to our play?
Rarity: Well, no. We're in the Canterlot pageant, the biggest, most important production in all of Equestria. A lot of ponies will come to watch us.
Fluttershy: A lot?
Rarity: Hundreds.
Fluttershy: Hundreds?!
Rarity: Maybe even thousands!
Fluttershy: [gasps and returns to the box]
[snow and a harsh wind blow through when a window bursts open of its own accord]
Rarity: Oh, my hair! Applejack? Be a dear and shut those windows, will you?
Rainbow: Aaah! Rain-bow Dash! Rain-bow Dash! Aaah! Thank you, thank you!
Applejack: It's a re-enactment of the founding of Equestria. It's not the "Rainbow Dash Show."
Rainbow: Well it should be the "Rainbow Dash Show!" I'm the star!
Twilight: Fluttershy, you've got to come out of there!
Spike: Curtain in two minutes!
Pinkie: Twilight, let me handle this.
Rarity: My hair! [the window is still open and the wind is still blowing]
[Twilight attempts to pull Fluttershy from the box by her tail using magic while Pinkie lifts Twilight by her head]
[Pinkie lets go as she catches a sudden chill, and Twilight is thrown into the box with Fluttershy]
Applejack: The Hearth's Warmin' Eve pageant is about harmony and friendship.
Everypony Else: Shut the window!
[Spike groans]
Spike: Putting on an English accent: Once upon a time, long before the peaceful rule of Celestia; and before ponies discovered our beautiful land of Equestria, ponies did not know harmony. It was a strange and dark time. A time when ponies were torn apart by hatred.
Audience: [loudly gasps and flinches]
Spike: Wryly and with his regular voice: I know. Can you believe it?
[Back to the English accent:] During this frightful age, each of the three tribes - the Pegasi, the unicorns, and the Earth ponies - cared not for what befell the other tribes, but only for their own welfare. In those troubled times, as now, the Pegasi were the stewards of the weather. But... they demanded something in return. Food that could only be grown by the Earth ponies. The unicorns demanded the same, in return for magically bringing forth day and night. [meanwhile, costumed ponies act out his narration with stage props] And so, mistrust between the tribes festered until one fateful day, it came to a boil. And what prompted the ponies to clash? 'Twas a mysterious blizzard that overtook the land and toppled the tribes' precarious peace.
[the scenery changes from a staged re-enactment to what could be called a flashback to those times]
The normally industrious Earth ponies were unable to farm their land.
[the Earth Ponies desperately scavenge for something to harvest beneath the snow]
Earth Ponies were freezing; the home of the Pegasi fared no better!
[a pegasus soldier tried to eat the plume from his helmet]
The Pegasi were hungry, and the unicorns were freezing, and hungry. Even the unicorns' magic was powerless against the storm. Each tribe blamed the others for their suffering, and the angrier everypony grew the worse the blizzard became. And so it was decided that a grand summit would be held to figure out a way to cope with the blizzard. Each tribe sent their leaders.
Ponies from each race are assembled on seperate balconies within a great hall, presumably in a neutral location ~

[trumpet fanfare sounds as Rarity walks in to represent the unicorns]
Spike: Daughter of the unicorn king: Princess Platinum.
[a different fanfare, but also with trumpets, announce Rainbow Dash]
Spike: Ruler of the Pegasi, Commander Hurricane. And lastly:
[Kazoos and confetti herald the arrival of Pinkie Pie]
Spike: Leader of the Earth Ponies, Chancellor Puddinghead.
Perhaps the three tribes could finally settle their differences, and agree on a way to get through this disaster.
The Three: [incomprehesibly casting accusations]
Hurricane: All I wanna know is why the Earth ponies are hogging all the food!
Spectating Pegasi: [jeering]
Puddinghead: Us?! We're not hogging all the food, you are! Oh wait, you're right. It's us! Well, it's only 'cause you mean old pegasususususes are making it snow like crazy!
Hurricane: For the hundredth time, it's not us! We're not making it snow; it must be the unicorns! They're doing it with their freaky magic!
Platinum: [indignant gasp] How dare you! Unlike you pegasi ruffians, we unicorns would never stoop to such a thing! Hum-a-pha!
Spectating Unicorns: Hmph!
Puddinghead: Well, if you nonEarths aren't gonna stop using your weirdo powers to freeze us all, then I'm just plum out of ideas!
[puts her head down sullenly]
Hurricane: What a shocker. An Earth Pony with no ideas!
Platinum: Commander Hurricane! Please cease with the insults!
Hurricane: You're not the boss of me, your royal snootiness!
Platinum: I beg your pardon?! I am a princess! I won't be spoken to that way! [makes for the door]
Hurricane: Well, I'm leaving first! [also heads for the door]
Puddinghead: No, I'm first! [is already at the door]
The Three: Exeunt clumsily whilst arguing
Spike: And the blizzard raged on. So the summit of the tribes did not turn out as well as hoped and the three leaders returned home to lick their wounds, and basically complain.
In Cloudsdale, or wherever the pegasus capital was at the time ~
Hurricane: Atteeennn- tion! [a startled Fluttershy collapses]
Well? Aren't you curious about how it went?
Pansy (Fluttershy): Oh, uh, Commander Hurricane, sir! How did it go, sir?!
Hurricane: Horribly! Those other tribe leaders are so disrespectful! Don't they realize that we are a mighty tribe of warriors and should not be crossed? [accidentally knocks Fluttershy down some steps] We have got to break ranks with those weak foals!
Meanwhile, at the unicorn capital's castle ~
Platinum: [freezing as she makes a dramatic entrance] Clover the Clever, I need you!
Clover (Twilight): Yes, your majesty. Did the other pony tribes see reason as I predicted?
Platinum: Those other tribes are impossible! I, for one, can no longer bear to be anywhere near those lowly creatures. The unicorns are noble and majestic. We will no longer consort with the likes of them! [thrusts her hooves into a bucket of warm water, splashing Clover in the face]
And at the town hall of the Earth Pony capital ~
[Puddinghead comes crashing down the chimney]
Smart Cookie (Applejack): Wouldn't it have been easier to use the door, Chancellor?
Puddinghead: Maybe for you, Smart Cookie, but I am a chancellor. I was elected because I know how to think outside the box. Which means [puts her head back inside the chimney] I can also think inside the chimney. Can you think inside a chimney?
Cookie: Ah-
Puddinghead: I didn't think so.
Cookie: [groans]
Puddinghead: Oh my gosh... Hold on to your hooves! I am just about to be brilliant!
Cookie: wryly: That'd be a first.
Puddinghead: I have decided that the Earth Ponies are gonna go it alone!
Cookie: Aw! So you mean the other tribes didn't come around? Shoot. I really thought we could get through to them if we-
Puddinghead: Don't worry about them. We're the ones with all the food, right?
Cookie: Actually, we're all out.
Puddinghead: Fine. Then we'll have to go somewhere new where we can grow some new food. And with me as our fearless leader, what could go wrong?
[she opens the door and is buried under a pile of snow]
Cookie: Where should I start?
Puddinghead: The point is...
All three leaders: We must find a new land!
Flying over a range of mountains ~
Hurricane: C'mon, Private Pansy, let's get a move on! Hup-one, hup-two!
[Pansy nearly gets struck by lightning and jumps in Hurricane's hooves]
Hurricane: Get a hold of yourself, Private! We cannot let anything distract us from the mission at hand: to find, and if necessary, to conquer a new land!
Pansy: Conquer, sir?
Hurricane: You never know where enemies might be lurking.
Pansy: I don't see any enemies, Commander. Just snow.
Hurricane: A ha! What's that?! [tackles a storm cloud]
[Pansy shrieks at a tuft of storm cloud that drifts towards her face, again jumping in the commander's hooves]
Hurricane: OK, this is getting old. [drops her]
A short distance from the unicorn capital ~
Platinum: This is simply taking forever. My hooves are killing me! How long have we been walking for?!
Clover: About five minutes, your highness. [pulls down a shrubbery to reveal the castle isn't very far away]
Platinum: Ugh! I never imagined finding a new land would be so hard! But it'll all be worth it. Don't you agree?
Clover: I actually think that the three tribes could've tried harder.
Platinum: Stoooooop!
Clover: What's wrong?
Platinum: That, is what's wrong!
[indicates a large, roaring creek, which is then revealed to be a little stream barely three feet across]
Clover: Your highness, it's just a stream. We can cross it easily. [steps over it]
Platinum: I refuse to get my gown wet. I have no intention of arriving at my new land looking like a bedraggled Earth Pony. Or worse yet - a rough-and-tumble Pegasus. I, for one, have no intention of stooping down to their level. On the other hand, I have no trouble watching you stoop down.
Clover: Ugh!
[clover carries Platinum over on her back]
Platinum: And do watch the gown, darling. It's worth more than all of the books in your library.
Meanwhile, in the middle of nowhere ~
Puddinghead: [a map is affixed to her face with holes for her eyes and mouth] Yes, yes! This is definitely the right direction!
Cookie: It feels like we're going in circles.
[their hoofprints are revealed to show that indeed, they've been making a very small circle]
Puddinghead: But that's impossible! Are you suggesting that I'm reading the map wrong?
Cookie: Absolutely not, your chancellorness. It's just that there are holes in the map and-
Puddinghead: Of course! How else could I see where I was going?
Cookie: Yeah, uh-
Puddinghead: Or talk? I need to be able to talk! I mean, how would we survive if I just suddenly shut up?!
Cookie: Heaven forbid that should happen, your chancellorship. It's just that the map is also upside down.
Puddinghead: I got a newsflash for you, Cookie. The Earth is round; there is no up or down!
Cookie: You're right! It's such a relief to me that you're in charge of this map!
Puddinghead: Relief?! You don't need relief! If anypony needs relief around here it's me! I'm a chancellor! I'm a bigshot! You're just my, uh... mmmmyyy, waaa-
Cookie: Secretary.
Puddinghead: Whatever! [pulls the map in her mouth and spits it on Cookie's face, where it sticks] You take the map, while I enjoy some relief.
Cookie: Yes, Chancellor Puddin'head.
Back on stage ~
Spike: And so, each leader encountered obstacles along the way, but eventually they all arrived in a new and wondrous land. Nopony had ever seen paradise before.

Hurricane: This is the new land we've been searching for!
Pansy: What a view! I can see my future house from here.
Hurricane: I proclaim this new land to be...
[plants a flag on a cloud] Pegasopolis!
Platinum: [examining a pile of gemstones] I've never seen such jewels! This ruby is dazzling... This whole land is dazzling! I'm double dazzled! In the name of the unicorns, I hereby dub this land Unicornia! [plants a flag]
Puddinghead: The air! The trees! The dirt! This dirt is the dirtiest dirt in the whole dirt world! [wallows in it]
Cookie: And fertile, too. Perfect for growing food. [she picks up a pile of dirt and a plant immediately sprouts]
Puddinghead: In the name of the Earth Ponies, I think I'm gonna call this new place: uuhhh... Dirtville!
Cookie: How about Earth?
Puddinghead: Earth! Congratulations to me for thinking of it. [her hat falls off as she bows, and a flag rises from it]
The Three: We found our new home!
[notice each other for the first time despite being only a few feet apart]
Hurricane: I planted my flag first!
Platinum: Did not!
Hurricane: Did too!
Puddinghead: I planted mine earlier than first.
Platinum: All of you riff-raff are trespassing in Unicornia!
Hurricane: The name is Pegasopolis!
Puddinghead: Earth!
Hurricane: Pegasopolis!
Platinum: Unicornia!
Hurricane: I say we fight for the land! May the best pony win!
[wind blows]
Platinum: That's barbaric. Clover the Clever, throw that brute into the dungeon!
Clover: What dungeon?! Look, perhaps if we all calmed down.
Cookie: I agree. Let's all calm down.
Pansy: I vote for calm.
Hurricane: I'll have you court-martialled for insubordination, Private! We settle this on the battlefield!
[takes a snowball to the face]
Platinum: [laughs at her until getting hit as well]
Hurricane: [laughing at Platinum]
Platinum: Who dares throw a snowball at royalty?!
Puddinghead: [she has a pile of snowballs and drops the one currently in her hoof] Wait a minute, where'd all this snow come from anyway?
Hurricane: Oh, no. Not again.
[a whiteout begins]
Spike: And so the paradise that the ponies had found was soon lost, buried beneath a thick blanket of snow and hard feelings. [begins overacting] Instead of beautiful, it was blizzardy. Instead of wonderful, it was wintry! Instead of spectacular, it was snowtacular! Instead of-
Mare in the audience: We get it; move on!
Spike: Heh heh heh... Ahem. Everypony was forced to seek shelter. They searched high and low, but the only shelter for miles was a cold and desolate cave. And of course, the three tribes had to share it. And nopony was too happy about that.
Platinum: Please, Commander Hothead.
Hurricane: It's Commander Hurricane.
Platinum: Please Commander, could you just stand back and give me my royal space?
Hurricane: You mean like this, your highness? [puts a hoof closer]
Platinum: Indeed, not! You see this invisible line?
Hurricane: Private, outline our territory for everypony to see. [Pansy begins to draw a line, then Hurricane picks her up and drags her to finish the line] See this real, non-invisible line? No unicorns or Earth Ponies are allowed to cross it. This is the sovereign territory of Pegasopolis!
Platinum: Clover the Clever!
Puddinghead: Smart Cookie!
Cookie: I know, I know!
[they all begin demarcating what they claim as their own territory; pansy draws her line behind an obstacle]
Hurricane: What are you doing?! Don't go around the rock, go over it! I'm not giving up an inch of territory to the enemy!
Platinum: That rock is clearly on the Unicornia side of the cave, and it belongs to us! [whispering to Clover] Who knows, there could be jewels inside!
Hurricane: [drags the rock to her side] I claim this rock for Pegasopolis!
Platinum: Unhand that rock this instant, you scoundrel!
Puddinghead: Oh look, you found my rock! I've been looking for it everywhere. [takes it]
Hurricane: Hey! You invaded our territory!
Puddinghead: Finders keepers; losers weepeeers!
Hurricane: That's the last straw!
Platinum: Give me my rock!
All three: [arguing and franticly running about]
Cookie: Look everypony, the entrance!
[ice forms over the entirety of the cave, sealing the entrance]
Hurricane: Great! Now there's no way out! We're trapped!
Platinum: You two deserve this horrible fate! You've done nothing but argue and fight with each other!
Hurricane: You've been fighting too, your highness.
Puddinghead: Yeah, worse! I haven't been fighting nearly as much as yoo-uuu!
[the ice begins forming over the three leaders, though they fail to notice]
Platinum: How ridiculous! A unicorn never stoops to fighting!
Hurricane: That's just because you wimpy unicorns know you'd never win! Earth Ponies are numskulls!
Platinum: Pegasi are brutes!
Puddinghead: Unicorns are snob-! [her face freezes in a scowl before she can finish the word]
[The three servants back into each other and groan alarmedly before an unseen beast roars somewhere nearby. Cookie, Clover, and Pansy huddle for encouragement. Looking up they can see three ethereal beings running in a circle and generating the cold winds and ice.]
Pansy: What is that thing?!
Clover: They must be windigos!
Cookie, and Pansy: Www- windigos?!
Clover: My mentor, Starswirl The Bearded, taught me about them. They're winter spirits that feed off fighting and hatred. The more hate the spirit feels, the colder things become.
Cookie: Then... This is our fault. We three tribes, we brought this blizzard to our home by fighting and not trusting each other. Now it's destroying this land, too.
Clover: And now our bodies will become as cold as our hearts. All because we were foolish enough to hate.
Pansy: Well, I don't hate you. I actually hate Commander Hurricane a lot more than I hate you guys.
[Cookie and Clover laugh a little. This appears to alarm a windigo.]
[the remaining three begin slowly freezing]
Pansy: Actually, I don't really hate her. I just really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really dislike her.
[they all share a laugh]
Cookie: Well, I don't hate you guys either.
Clover: Nor do I!
Cookie: No matter what our differences, we're all ponies.
[The ice encases them until it reaches the tip of Clover's horn. Her horn then emits a pinkish flame, the Fire of Friendship, that annihilates the windigos, frees them from the ice, and molds itself into the shape of a heart.]
Pansy: What was that?
Cookie: I didn't know unicorns could do that.
Clover: I didn't either, nothing like this has ever happened before, but I know it couldn't have been just me. It came from all three of us joined together... in friendship.
Spike: All through the night, the three ponies kept the fire of friendship alive by telling stories to one another and by singing songs which, of course, became the winter carols that we all still sing today. Eventually the warmth of the fire and singing and laughing reached the leaders, and their bodies began to thaw. [the ice recedes from their bodies and they regain consciousness] And it even began to melt their hearts.
[the ice over the entrance is pierced by the sun and all six leave to find fair weather returning to their newfound home]
Spike: The three leaders agreed to share the beautiful land and live in harmony ever afterwards. [together they hoist a flag depicting Celestia and Luna circling a sun and moon] And together, they named their new land...
All Six: Equestria!
[the curtains draw as the audience cheers]

Everypony in the room begins singing The Hearth Carol. Afterwards, the play's cast returns to the dressing room ~
Twilight: We should be so honored that Princess Celestia chose us! She must really think we exemplify what good friends are!
[that window bursts open again]
Rarity: Applejack! I thought you closed all the windows.
Applejack: Don't blame me! Rainbow Dash should've flown up there and shut it. After all, she's got wings!
Rainbow: Why do I always have to do all the high up chores?! Why can't Twilight use her magic for a change!
[everypony begins bickering until a windigo's call brings them to their senses]
Rainbow: You know what, I got it.
They all share a laugh as the view pulls out to show nighttime over most of Canterlot, the Fire of Friendship burning brightly over the dressing room.

[ credits ]

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Last edited by Liege on 17 April 2012 at 19:30
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